More Mysteries Revealed: WHAT WOMEN WANT
Male friends repeatedly complain to me that they have no idea what the women in their lives want. Since all women are different as to specific likes & dislikes, I can only speak to the core issues. (I know these core issues to be true because I hear them over & over again from the women in my life.) So here’s a list, in no particular order, which all men should take under advisement!
COMMUNICATION: Since men basically abhor all confrontation, you tend to lack in the communication arena. I’m not talking about the day to day b.s. of life. Most of you will tell us about who did what to whom on the job. The communication that we’re after is from the heart, your FEELINGS. (Oh, I know that’s a dirty word!) We want to know how you feel about US primarily & all things that pertain to US & the RELATIONSHIP. (We must truly be insecure beings since we need REASSUARANCE.) Get used to it! That’s never going to change. We don’t need an emotional monologue, but an occasional “I love you” or if you’re not at that point in the relationship, a “You make me happy” will do wonders.
LISTEN: Men seem to hear in a type of short hand. (I have written about this topic before & suggested that women use KEY WORDS when talking with men. See: http://karenheckler.blogspot.com/2005/10/manitus-state-of-male-psyche.html) Yes, I know we can prattle on but I’m doing my part to have women correct that issue when in dialogue of importance. However, practice the art of listening. Pretend that we’re talking about your favorite sport & at least focus on the gist of the conversation. It will save you from making costly mistakes. And while I’m on the topic, be ATTENTIVE. Look interested. Please don’t check your watch, scrutinize the newspaper or the TV screen or let your eyes wander.
APPRECIATION: (aka Consideration) You’re great on this front at the start of le affaire, but once you feel comfortable the gratefulness “muscle” seems to weaken or atrophy altogether. (And I know that women can be guilty of this too.) Words of praise, please & thank you & the occasional service will do wonders. Most men still have to be asked to do something for the women in their lives. Take the initiative & perform a service that is non-sexual. Take the garbage out. Bring the dishes to the sink. Rub our necks. This is true even if you don’t live together. (Just think of the points you’ll rack up if you offer to take a date’s garbage out when you leave for the night!)
MAKE US A PRIORITY: After a man grows accustomed to a woman, it is not uncommon that his focus shifts back to his hobbies, business or male bonding. (Often men think that they’re doing the business thing for the woman so they can have a better life, when really we want more of you not $$$.) We don’t begrudge you your interests or your friends. Just don’t make us the last thing on your list. We want to be considered your “good time” too.
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