Scoring the Digits

So you’ve had your opening dialogue & you’d like to see her again? In the previous column I discussed leaving the woman wanting more (not wishing you’d dry up & blow away). So you’ve come to that point in the conversation that, like a sales presentation, you must close the deal. As any good salesman will tell you, there is an art to closing the sale. Timing is crucial. Press too soon & she’ll feel you’re pushy. Wait too long & things could be awkward or stale.

Your locale will again play a part in the ease in which an exchange can be made. In a business setting, you can exchange cards, handshakes & keep the swap light. At a party, the host / hostess can facilitate the situation by vouching that you are not a sociopath & making approving noises about the possibility of you two seeing each other again. (Friends generally love to see other friends connect.)

Men you may or may not agree with my next statement, but I think in all other situations, particularly in a bar, it is better if you give her your number & not press for hers. You may be the most honest & sincere guy in world. But we don’t know that yet. & since there are predators out there with a whole slew of kinks & predilections, smart women need to be on guard. If a man won’t give me his number, I’m suspicious. Is he married? Living with someone? I really appreciate it when man offers me his number. This automatically builds safety & trust. I feel like this man gets it. He’s giving me the opportunity to make the decision to go forward. & sometimes I do reciprocate. Also, men, if you give out your number, you wipe out the rejection factor of asking for hers & having her say “I don’t think so.”

The actual part of asking to see her again, unless you can come up with something drop dead witty, should be straight forward honesty. “I think you are _______ (supply compliment here) & I’d like to do this again.” This is cordial & non-threatening. You’re not making a specific date, which could box you into a calendar game (which can be fruitless). Instead you’ll seem warm, patient & desirous of getting to know her better.

As I’ve said before, meeting, flirting & courting, it’s all become a lost art. But if you want to find a relationship with someone worth it... take your time & do it right, from the start.

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